“How is that working for you?” … This is a great question I regularly ask my clients and audiences. I heard Dr. Phil ask it of someone and the reaction he got was similar to the one I tend to observe when I ask it. It’s a kind of surprised, contemplative look and the verbal response is similar every time. It’s usually something like, “not very well” or “it isn’t” or “I never really thought about it.”
Sometimes our thought processes, habits and activities are so unconscious and automatic we are not even aware of it. In fact it’s now well documented that we have about 60,000 thoughts each day, 90% are the same ones and 70% of those are negative and redundant! So it’s a bit like “Groundhog Day”
Groundhog Day (noun) ~
“a situation in which a series of unwelcome or tedious events appear to be recurring in exactly the same way.”
If you’re not at peace and enjoying what you’re doing, do something else or at least do it differently. Some may ask, “how can I drive that journey I hate and enjoy that?” or “How can I be at peace in my stressful job? It’s is a nightmare and I can’t stand my boss!”
This will change everything for the better. Change how you represent it. The behaviour and actions of other drivers on the road or your boss at work is out of your control. You have no control over them, anymore than you do the weather, but YOU DO HAVE CONTROL about how you want to experience people, environment, and circumstances outside of you.
Here are 3 tips that can positively transform your life experience:
1. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
~ The glass is half empty or half full. YOU get to decide. You have choice, and what you choose will determine how you feel… positively or negatively. Consciously make a choice that serves you …
2. Awareness in and of itself is transformative. ~ Conscious awareness of yourself will change your life for the better. For example, as you read this just check in with yourself and notice if you are relaxed or tense? Take your attention to your neck and shoulders, your hands, the soles of your feet in turn. If you notice your breathing is shallow, take a few deep relaxed breaths in and out. Every time you wash your hands or have a shower take your attention to how the water feels on your skin and then the soft towel as you dry yourself. One of the easiest things to be aware of is your breath. A very healthy, powerful practice is to say silently to yourself with each in-breath, “accepting” and with each out-breath, “releasing”. Be aware of any tension or tightness in your body and focus your breathing into those tight spots and release it and relax.
3. Deliberately create and co-create your own experience. ~ I love this one. The idea that you can create and co-create your day, and experience which is exciting and empowering. This implies, YOU have control. A positive life experience is really an inside job. We can unconditionally intend to create and co-create happiness, joy, peace , love, appreciation, gratitude … All these feelings are really good for health and well-being. If these feelings are dependent and conditional on good looks, a certain body weight, bank balance, loving relationships, weather etc. having the best (optimum) life experience possible may elude you. When you bring your joy, love, acceptance and appreciation into a situation it becomes contagious. You will enrol people in your positive vibration. However, remember that not everyone knows all this stuff so they may resist participating in your love, light and delight! 🙂 … So stay focused on your thoughts and emotions. If you catch yourself feeling anything other than good/peaceful/relaxed etc. just go inside and reach for a better feeling thought. A final note on this … some people and situations test this and it may seem very challenging to feel good all the time. Just remember, sometimes it’s great to visit someone, or have a drink or lunch together, but unless you love them like crazy don’t book a holiday with them, especially out of obligation… unless you want to test your feel good skills!
Stay focused daily on changing how you look at things. Develop your awareness of how you feel, and make it your dominant intent to create a great experience for yourself and those around you. It’s a practice and like so many others, takes some effort and commitment but the rewards are really worthwhile.
Until next time, live well and be well.
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